A kind word for those of you who are not loving your new lives at college. I basically hated my first semester, and wanted to be home when I was away, and wanted to be away when I was home. I felt like a man cast adrift.
By the time my senior year rolled around, I didn't want it to end. I just loved it. I felt like I had come into my own as a person, and that person, with further evolutions, is still alive today. The person I was before college is gone.
Anyway, your experience may not dovetail with mine, but those of you who are window shopping in gun shops, wondering what the mimimum calibre pistol appropriate for blowing your brains out, just hunker down and wait it out. Things get better.
Which reminds me of the guy who decided to commit suicide, and went to a gun shop to buy the implement of his self-destruction, but was deterred when he saw how expensive the guns were. He'd be damned if he'd lay out that kind of dough for something he'd only use once.
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I feel kind of like what you described here. I want to be home when I'm here and when I'm here I want to be home. It's not to say I am not enjoying my time at Adelphi though. I'm actually really enjoying it. I just get kind of restless sometimes cuz there is not much to do. It's either eat, sleep, or do work. On the other hand, I love the people here and I'm enjoying my classes. I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm handling pretty well I think.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually making a movie for one of my classes! It's not exactly something you would have shown in your class, but I think it'll get me a good grade. I wrote this really vulgar, inappropriate comedy. My teacher loved the script, but he's an odd individual haha.
You don't have to worry about me blowing my brains out. Not because guns are too expensive, but because I know that there is much more to live for.
I feel, to the very end, the triumph of being alive.
ReplyDeleteBlog posts as good as this one are reason enough to continue living. Thank you for the great entertainment and even greater advice.
When I'm in Manhattan at my dorm and at the college, I feel alive. People are running around doing a million things at once and even if I feel overwhelmed or exhausted, it is the absolute best feeling in the world to be among the crazy overworked people. I thought I would take it easy and concentrate only on classes my first semester, but after a week of too much time of nothingness, I jumped into a dozen different things and could not be happier.
ReplyDeleteThen, I come back to SI and I feel restless. I don't know what to do with my free time and all I end up doing is sleeping. It's the strangest feeling. I wish there was a comfortable middle ground between craziness and utter boredom.
But, I agree, even after a few months away at college in the greatest city of all time, I already see the many changes that have occurred in my personality and my mindset. I am not the person I was in Tech back a few months ago, and I shall never be the same again. College has given me lemons, and damn right I will make some lemonade. :)
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